Resignation

In the past few months, I've had people approach me with questions about where I'm headed spiritually. These are people I love and respect, but, really, how do you answer someone when you don't have words to express the feelings inside of you? I think I'm at a point, though, where I can say something.

I've spent ten years in this area. Ten long, ten sometimes wonderful, sometimes painful years. And I've visited a LOT of churches. And I've seen enough to say that what I've seen qualifies as typical of the area.

I'm tired of being in places where I don't belong. Tired of multimedia presentations, tired of laboring for elaborate worship, for the constant search for the bigger, the fancier, in order to woo congregants. I love technology, and see its usefulness, but when you put it ahead of ministry, you're kind of missing the point in the first place.

I'm tired of fellow church members accepting that our kids must drink and do drugs every weekend and giving up on pushing them to be better. Tired of them ignoring the issues such as teen pregnancy and tired of the lack of mentoring and discipleship set forth by Jesus at every level. Tired of telling our kids to aim for mediocrity rather than excellence, and tired of seeing the church give in to the popular culture.

The fact that I have been pretty soundly criticized for pointing this out in the past makes it painfully clear that the majority in the church, in this area, at least, WANT this. They are comfortable with it. They've become accepting of compromise as the only way, and they've forgotten their duty to their fellow sojourners and to the community.

We're called to be salt and light, yet I see no salt. I see no light. I see NO DISTINCTION between 95% of the church members I know and the rest of the world (to the 5% that are an exception, I thank you; unfortunately, I hear some of the frustration in your voices as well).

Church is not about numbers. It's not about the dollars in the offering plate. It's about an expressive faith in God lived out in action. The church in this region, by and large, has little interest in feeding the poor. As a matter of fact, many have openly expressed their belief that we treat the poor TOO well. They claim to be pro life, yet they have no problem with children who live in poverty being denied health care and food because of that poverty. This is not only wrong, it's the gravest of sins (see Ezekial 16:49).

I realize my words will not be accepted by many who read this. I realize that they will feel I'm being judgmental, being harsh, and being confrontational. And that, in a nutshell, is why I'm stepping away. Because I'm willing to accept that maybe the problem is me. And I'm equally willing to accept that because this is so in line with my core beliefs, it's not going to change. And that in the church, as expressed in the area where I live, there is no room for me.