I have hesitated in writing these thoughts. I don't want to, as they will almost certainly cost me friends.
But I feel I must.
With the Supreme Court ruling on same sex marriage coming down today, it puts me in the middle of a decision that has, in the minds of some, left this country deeply divided. I pray for healing, and want to make my position as clear as possible.
From my earliest years, I have been an outcast. I have never fit in in any social group. Ever. It has cost me, it has cost my family dearly. To the point where I have actually wondered if taking my own life would help my family experience a normalcy that they never can with me.
In September, 1988, I made a life changing decision for Jesus. For my atheist friends, please respect that and leave it there. It made a fundamental change in my life.
What it didn't do was solve the social problem. In church after church, town after town, I have always been a sort of pariah. I know the prayer of Jabez well (and it's not the prayer you think it is), because I, too, have prayed that God would cause me not to cause pain on those I love.
In the midst of it, though, I have found that the people who have always been there for me, without fail, have been the people I have found outside the church. The drunks, the druggies, the LGBT community, Wiccans, atheists, agnostics, and Unitarians alike. And yes, some Christians...just not the ones that tend to be front and center within the church.
To the church, I have, more often than not, been an inconvenience. In my diverse group of outcasts, I have found one thing I never did within the church house walls: a family. And that family is quite literally the only reason I've survived this long.
In the church, I have found judgment. I have found believers willing to embrace Genesis 19, but not Ezekial 16:49; a group, by and large, of people who have called me a communist and worse, for citing James 5:1-6 as justification for a living wage. A group who, despite my being married 20 years to the same woman, despite my willingness to help in a variety of capacities, has never quite considered me "good enough". Among the outcasts, I just am.
So it begs the question: Why, then, would I reject these people who have stood with me, when they ask me to stand with them? It's not a matter of "us vs. them"; there's room for all of us. And if you want to encircle us and throw stones, first give us the chance to read off YOUR failings, your shortcomings. Although, truthfully, we won't. We'll probably just offer you cake (an idea stolen unabashedly from my friend Angie!)
This decision does not strip away your right to worship. This decision does not affect your right to preach the Gospel without apology and without conviction. While it may affect your right to remain tax free, it seems to me Jesus did have something to say about paying taxes being our duty.
This decision was the right one, and it doesn't in one way diminish the sovereignty of God. If God can be diminished by 9 folks in robes, then He really wasn't sovereign to begin with.
I love the church, and I love my friends outside the church. Because that is the simplest and most important commandment that is asked of me.
If that makes you feel I am not Christian, so be it. You are not the judge to whom I will answer. If that makes you feel that you can no longer be friends, I wish you nothing but the best on your journey, and I will be waiting if you ever desire to change that. But I will not leave the side of those whom I love.
And if that costs me your friendship, then I realize simply it was never mine.
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