I am writing this in one of my "down" moods. Anyone with any type of social anxiety disorder will understand: it's that period when you need a lot of self talk just to confront the day to day tasks.
It's not exactly depression; it manifests differently, and it's easy to control, when you know how. But it's also something I've had to spend a lot of years learning how to control. Unfortunately, more often than not, WITHOUT the help of others.
And it's a large part of the reason I consider myself post church. This has had some pretty harsh consequences in the past when I didn't understand it, and one major turning point in our life came after I had discussed the issue with a pastor of a church we had attended for several years. He dismissed my concerns, I left a good job at the time with a lot of uncertainty (and the way I left, I left a lot of PTO days on the table), and ultimately we made the move out of the area. Not my best time. But it marked the first time I actually tried to reach out to someone.
When I came to Christ, I saw a lot of answers in the Bible. Building one another up, building a faith community, that sort of thing. None of us were meant to walk alone, none of us were meant to bear these burdens alone. It's hard to explain to someone why when you have everything you've always wanted you have to face nagging mountains of self doubt. Why sometimes you just can't pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.
I can't blame the church, of course, and I don't, for not meeting my needs. But it's not just my needs I see neglected. The church where I live is amazing in their ability to meet needs of single situations, and they've shown it time and time again. They truly are wonderful people, despite what outsiders think of their political views. But they're not being led, being taught, being nurtured to be proactive and to help each other out BEFORE these needs become pressing, last minute concerns. And as the sanctuaries empty out, there is more emphasis on multimedia, professional worship teams, and the spit and polish of Madison Avenue marketing.
Jesus didn't meet His followers on Madison Avenue, though. He met them at their boats, in their steets, up in trees, in their infirmaries, at the temple gates, and even in their graves. He ministered to them who they were and even in the depths of their depravity and depression. That's the Jesus I want to serve, not the Jesus who wants you to pile up mountains of debt in order to become a millionaire. That's the Jesus that's real, and that's the Jesus I find people on the streets wanting to worship.
THAT Jesus understands we aren't always on our A game. That Jesus understands our need for each other, our need to vent, and our need to rest. That Jesus wants us to unite in purpose and in common belief in Him, even if our worldly politics may differ. That Jesus is not impressed with the elaborate, showy offering of Cain or of the Pharisee, but of the simpler offering of Abel or of the poor widow.
And THAT Jesus will bring people back into your church, if you will allow HIM back in your church.
If I were the only one saying this, I'd be inclined to dismiss my feelings as just the social anxiety talking. But I've talked to the unchurched; I've talked to the agnostic, I've talked to the atheist, and I've heard them saying pretty much the same thing. Sure it's great to think that some fad prescription would suddenly erase all of these issues; but it's even greater, even more assuring to know that the Healer is more than capable, and He has commissioned His followers to be as well.
Think about this. I'm not criticizing the church for what it isn't; I am trying to exhort the church to be what God intended. Stop trying to be successful in the eyes of the world, and start trying to be successful in the eyes of God. Take care of the big things, and the little things will fall into place.
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