The Reason the Conservative Church Turns Me Off

This is one of those blogs I've debated writing because parts of it are intensely personal, and because I don't feel I should need to answer for why I have such contempt for the conservative church. But I have friends who are part of that church, and I feel it only fair to help them understand that my frustration is not targetted against individuals, but rather the institution; and that it is quite well founded.

I had gotten over and accepted the fact that I would not be a full member of the Baptist churches in the Texas Panhandle. Although I was baptized in a Baptist church, I wasn't baptized SOUTHERN Baptist, and they didn't feel it counted (sidenote: Emo Phillips has a TERRIFIC routine on this very topic that's worth checking out!). In addition, they would not baptize my daughter, despite her request to be baptized. Since they pretty much consider baptism into the faith essential, that tells you something right there.

We'd dealt with them in a nearby town and learned they could be truly horrible people, but nothing prepared me for what I, at this point at least, hope will be my last experience with a Baptist church. I had been working very hard to work my way up the food chain and build a better life for my family, and was working at pittance wages to manage the network at a school district. That January, I got extremely, unimaginably sick. It turns out it was "just" Type II diabetes, but there was a stretch during which I had very real reasons to fear lymphoma. I was going broke with the school gig, and fast.

So when I got a very nice job offer about 200 miles away, I was very excited. The plan was simple: I would move up, prepare to relocate, and drive home on the weekends, The kids would finish out the school year, and that would give us time to find a decent house.

But the Baptist church had other plans. No sooner did I pull out of the driveway than they called CPS with allegations that we were neglecting our kids. The CPS worker investigated, saw nothing wrong with the house, but was concerned that we didn't have a furnace. We were left with instructions to remedy this and asked to call CDSA.

The problem is, CDSA doesn't do furnaces, and even if they did, there's no way we could have it installed before winter was out. Basically, our choices were to either surrender the children temporarily or go ahead and move them up ahead of schedule. To top it off, if we stayed with the original plan, the drive back and forth for court appearances could well have jeopardized my new job. This choice was put upon us by a church that pretend to care for us.

The move was brutal. We had to take out signature loans at VERY high interest rates to make it, and the only rental available was a local motel at $500 a week. We spent 2 months there, and still could not find a suitable rental; settling for temporary housing in a small 2 bedroom house (try THAT with 7 kids!)

| Our local church was a blessing, and helped us out on a couple of occasions, although it was unsolicited on our part. But for that first six months, our housing expenses were nearly $10,000. All because the Baptist church we had left forced our hand.

I have nothing against conservative Christians; in fact, I love them and agree with them on a good number of issues. But I've personally experienced enough hate from their ranks to last a lifetime. And if I have to choose between that and someone who is loving, even if I disagree with some of their theology, I'll choose the loving one any day of the week.