Towards the end of the stay in Nevada, I was let go from the plumbing job. I worked it long enough to learn I was a lousy plumber, although I did pick up some rudimentary plumbing skills.
After I was unemployed in Nevada, we decided it was time to get out. I turned to blogging, which I had become quite proficient at by that time. I was offered what seemed like a great offer: a house in the TX Panhandle at what seemed like a great price to someone accustomed to houses worth six figures.
Unfortunately, we were unprepared both financially and emotionally for home ownership, and that situation became worse through our own neglect.
I spent the next two years throwing newspapers. I was still unprepared to deal with people and really had little experience handling conflict. I operated on the "if you ignore it long enough, it will go away" principle. I wasn't a good neighbor, I wasn't a good friend, and I wasn't a good father or husband at the time. I was coasting
So what brought me out of it? What changed? The realization that mountains weren't going to move unless I set about moving them. The understanding that success is often the result of planning and perserverance, not of luck and lottery.
It didn't come overnight. I went back to school first with the idea of attending a web design class. The school wasn't set up for folks who wanted to take some random class, though, and I had to enroll as a student to take the course.
After I was enrolled, I was steered towards the Network Technology degree plan. I got into it, and about halfway through decided I wasn't ready to stop with my Associates. That led to my enrolling to finish up the final two years towards a Bachelors.
There was a steep learning curve those two years. To start off with, we burned a few bridges, first with the family that had been kind enough to help us with our relocation to the Panhandle. Again, the lack of ability to handle conflict came into play, and to say we handled that poorly would be an understatement. I still didn't have a firm grip on the concept of "planning" and we moved out on the spur of the moment, leaving a lot of things unfinished.
The next two years were grueling. There were a lot of weeks with no free time, and I would come home and collapse, watching movies to motivate me and help me keep going. Quitting at that point was not an option, although it did at times seem to have its appeal.
My point in telling all of this is to explain that not only do I understand some of the inner thought process of those who choose to stay poor, but I have, I think, a unique perspective of how to get out and how those truly concerned with issues of poverty can help.
First, "things" don't help as much as people think they do. We had an abundance of castoff furniture, clothing and trinkets; enough that we couldn't possibly hope to manage it. Both because we had spent substantial time in poverty and because we felt beholden to those who donated the items, we didn't throw them out, we piled them up. In moving from the one house, I discovered painfully that a room we were using for storage had been overtaken by mice (it doesn't take as long as one would think), and that was the reason we had trouble eradicating them from the rest of the house. Piling up "things" when you lack good planning skills is, in essence, a bad idea. Strike that -- it's a HORRIBLE idea.
Second, personal involvement helps a LOT, but you have to be fairly rugged to do it. I can't say that someone directly and personally involved in our lives would have helped tons, unless it was a VERY persistent person, because I'm a very stubborn one. Unlearning habits of poverty means accepting and acknowledging personal weakness, and a person who has spent a lot of time in survival mode is usually somewhat short on those skills. It takes a gradual, gentle approach at times, and a bit of a smack upside the head at others. That smack upside the head may hurt at first, but once the pain subsides, and you sit back and analyze it, you come away with a MUCH clearer understanding.
Third, money is a "sometimes" thing. Throwing money at the problem doesn't address the underlying issues; it only postpones them. But there are some problems, some situations that require a monetary solution, and that's where individual, direct investment in someone's life can help to address that. But money itself is at best a salve.
Fourth, politics is not the solution. Politicians can help, of course, by steering resources to those working to address those problems, but ultimately, problem solving requires being above politics, being beyond them.
Fifth, accountability is key. Blame helps noone, and ultimately, the only person to get out of poverty will be the person who got themselves into it in the first place. People standing on the sidelines can help, they can advise, but they can't fix it.
Sixth, it doesn't come quickly and it doesn't come easily. Getting into poverty doesn't come easy, neither does getting out. It takes involvement, investment, and hard work. You ultimately have to decide that there is no option for failure.
There are, of course, those who are poor because of circumstances entirely beyond their control. And we need a way to help them, to give them the means for their own escape from poverty. But while some may choose poverty, it is still my contention that nobody WANTS poverty; they just are not aware that there is another way.
As for me and my family, we've still got a ways to go. It's a day by day thing. But ultimately I've come to realize that we are the ones who need to make sure that if we aren't happy with our circumstances, we should set about to change them. But I also see a lot of other folks struggling, and believe that it is our mission as Christians to reach out, to be the hands and feet of Christ, and to offer them both hope and help.
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